


Seeing Alexander

by Infinite_Infinite



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Discrimination Against Downworlders, Dishonour, Disowning, Established Relationship, Familial Issues, M/M, Maryse is a total bitch but hey what's new?, Mild discrimination, Missions Gone Wrong, Nephilim infected with demon blood, Protective Alec, Protective Magnus, So much angst, Vampire! Alec, immortal! alec, immortality issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 14:38:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinite_Infinite/pseuds/Infinite_Infinite
Summary: On a mission gone wrong, Alex is attacked by a rogue vampire, and Magnus takes care of him.In the end, they wind up taking care of each other.





	Seeing Alexander

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this listening to 'Dynasty' by MIIA, 'Green' by Cavetown, and 'Believe' by The Score so if you want to listen while you read, be my guest.

The infirmary bed beneath him felt unstable, sinking around him, smothering him. His clothes felt too tight and too constricting and too suffocating. He needed to get out. Run. Train. Kill something. He itched for movement, longing to be anywhere but where he was. 

People stood before him looking blurry and out of focus, their voices distorted like he was underwater. 

He felt like he was going to throw up. He felt wrong, and he couldn't place it. He felt dizzy and irritable and he needed to go, needed to move, or he would go insane. 

"Alexander?" One voice cut through the ringing in his ears, silencing his hay-wire mind. The Warlock perched on the bed beside Alec, hand coming to rest on his forearm. "Alexander, hey, look at me," 

The words reached Alec's ears but he didn't recognise them. It was like he was watching everything through a pane of frosted glass; muffled, twisted. He was slowly drowning.

"Please, Alexander," Magnus pleaded.Alec glanced up from his lap when he felt a soft palm rest on his cheek, pinkie finger lifting his chin. Warm golden eyes met his own, and the glass started to break.

He spoke, brain lagging behind like it was doused in tar "I feel wrong," he said quietly. His eyes were only on Magnus, distant and unfocused. He didn't know what else to say, so he repeated himself like the broken record he was. "I feel _wrong_ ,".

You could have shattered anyone in the room with a gentle nudge. Isabelle winced, blinking back what could have been the beginnings of tears. Jace couldn't bear to watch his Parabatai crumble like that, pivoting on the ball of his foot, Clary hot on his heels as he all but dashed from the room.He'd return a few hours later with a split lip and broken knuckles, everyone knew. He trained away his emotions, more often than not. 

Magnus' gaze was as soft as his touch, and Alec found himself being pulled into an embrace that he didn't mind being in. He felt so _wrong_ in his own skin that any distraction was a welcome one. It was a temporary fix, Alec knew, but he would take anything to mute the pain he was in. Acid tears burnt in his eyes and left corrosive tracks down his cheeks. Sobs tore at his throat, a snake constricting around his lungs.

" _Magnus I feel wrong!_ " he cried, hands tangling in his hair. Magnus hushed him softly, encasing Alec's hands in his own and murmuring the tune to a lullaby he'd heard so often tumble from his mother's mouth.

 "I'm sorry, Darling," Magnus says, sotto voce, "I'm so sorry,"

The whimpers that forced themselves through Alec's lips stabbed seraph blades into Magnus' heart- he knew he couldn't do anything to help the nephilim, the venom had to take his course. So he stroked Alec's hair and whispered sweet nothings until his voice was hoarse and his hand was cramping up. 

Alec passed out soon after. 

Whilst he was out, the healers walked into the room, hushed voices and solemn faces doing nothing to soothe the people in the room. 

"He'll be alright," is the first thing said. 

A collective exhale from those still conscious reverberated around the small ward. 

"The angel blood within him prevented him from turning completely," A female healer- her badge says Sarah- utters quietly, "But that doesn't mean he hasn't changed. We suspect that he has most common vampire traits, aside from the thirst for blood. We ran a dental test and discovered the presence of fangs but they can only inject venom- which, due to his Nephilim blood, isn't as potent as it would be otherwise. His heart is still beating, but cell depletion has significantly slowed; we believe he's becoming immortal," 

Magnus swallows thickly.

"Because it was an attack, and not a ritual, we can't say what will happen next, but he's shown no signs of completevampirism,"

Izzy swallowed thickly. "So what do we do?"

The second healer, stood a little ways behind Sarah, spoke up. He was timid and mousy-looking, and Magnus got the feeling that he was scared to say anything at all.

"It may take a little while for everything to settle- meaning he will be feeling confused and most likely upset for the next two weeks, maybe a little less. The healers strongly advise against leaving him alone for extended periods of time- you will have to come up with care-taking agreements between yourselves," he says, before stepping out of the room, Sarah hot on his heels. 

Magnus watched them leave and then turned his attention to Izzy, who was staring straight at him. He didn't give her room to speak. 

"He stays with me," he stated simply. Isabelle's eyes narrowed. 

Her tone was flat when she spoke in return. "This is his home, he stays with us. What will people say when he up and disappears, having just been rushed into the infirmary-" 

Magnus held a finger up to silence her. "If things go sideways I can treat him. I'm his best chance at answers if this immortality suspicion is true, and I can always portal here if things get really bad,"

Izzy looked uncertain at first, opening her mouth to protest. She closed it, opened it again, and then sighed.

"Okay. Keep me posted on how he's doing and I'll keep Maryse distracted until Alec finds his feet," 

Magnus gave her a tired half-smile. "Thank you, Isabelle. I'll portal back to my loft from here- be sure to tell Jace that he's under my care,"

Izzy nods. "If he ends up dead I'll put you in the ground with him,"

"Bold of you to assume I wouldn't already be in the grave," 

She gave a swift nod to the Warlock. "Take care of my brother, Magnus," she said quietly, shooting him a look he couldn't quite decipher. 

"I will," he returned solemnly. He fully planned on keeping his word. 

* * *

 

The second Alec was cleared from the infirmary, Magnus summoned a portal to his loft, carrying the unconscious man in his arms. He set Alec down in his unmade bed and laid the duvet over him, brushing a curl of inky hair from his sleeping face with the gentlest of touches. He fell silent for a moment, holding his own breath to listen out for Alec's. It was shallow but steady, and Magnus felt comfortable enough to leave the room, closing the door behind him. 

He slid down the oak panels sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest. His hands found his face and he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, smudging the make-up there.

"By the angel, what am I going to do?" 

 

As it turned out, he did nothing.

Because Magnus fell asleep on the couch, huddled under a thin blanket that had, until then, been claimed by Chairman Meow. A loud retching noise awoke him, and he staggered to his feet, dragging his socks against the laminate flooring of his apartment. He knocked softly on the bathroom door. 

"Alec? Alec, are you alright?" 

More retching noises. Alec didn't answer. 

"Alexander?" 

A thud and a loud clattering sound resonated through the door. Panicked, Magnus snapped the door open, the handle slamming into the tiles behind it. Alec was sat against the wall, eyes flickering between open and shut. "I'm sorry," he whimpered meekly. Magnus' heart practically broke in two. 

Stepping gingerly over Alec, Magnus sat down on the tile floor beside the sick nephilim, shifting Alec so that he laid with his head in Magnus' lap. The Warlock started carding fingers through Alec's hair in a soothing manner, brushing it off of his forehead with every stroke. 

"Magnus... Magnus, I... I-" Alec tried to speak, the effort clearly sucking the energy out of him.

"Shh, darling. Save your energy," he murmured softly, rubbing Alec's back with one hand, the other still in his hair. "This will pass, I promise you," 

Alec breathed out heavily, whimpering. "I hate this," he whispered, eyes glistening with tears that dripped pathetically onto the floor. "I hate it," 

"I know," Magnus murmured softly, wiping away the tears that left tracks on his lover's face. "I know. If I could snap my fingers and make it all go away, I would do it in a heartbeat,"

Alec passed out again after a few minutes, eyelids flickering daintily. Magnus carried him back to bed and laid him down once more, snapping his fingers to summon a bucket; which he placed besides the bed, and a glass of water and a pain-relief potion; which were put on the nightstand. Magnus curled up beside the sleeping Shadowhunter, watching him constantly in case anything happened.

Nothing happened. 

Nothing happened for the rest of the day. 

The rest of the night. 

The next morning.

Nothing. 

 

It was midday the following day by the time Alec woke up. He felt groggy, his eyelids crusted shut. He forced them open anyway. 

"Magnus?" he asked, and he was surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded, rough and gravelly. He looked around the room as his eyes focused properly, listening to voices through the wall. Familiar sounds met his ears, and he smiled, quickly regretting it when his lips cracked painfully. 

It took more effort than it should have for Alec to swing his legs over the edge of the bed, groaning at the heavy pounding in his head. Nausea washed over him and he had to sit still for a second so that the world could spinning.

The water on the bedside table didn't last long, glugged down in barely three swallows. It refreshed his parched throat and helped kill the headache that was thumping in his skull. 

He attemptes to stand up, using the bedpost as aid, and somehow managed to lurch across the room, one hand on the wall, the other clutching his head. He opened the door slowly and stepped out, only to find Magnus sat on the couch with a large selection of colourful phials across the coffee table. He was talking on the phone, discussing something mighty important, judging by the crease in his forehead alone

"-Right, so herbal and liquid remedies are fine- yes, I know about the binding solution- but solids are a total no. Thanks for your help, Catarina, I think I knew what I was doing, but needed confirmation. Yeah, I'll talk to you later, okay, bye for now. Tata,"

Magnus hung up the phone, tossing it to the side and turning his attention back to the potions on the table, sorting through them diligently. Alec raised a brow and tried to speak. 

"What's this about the binding solution?" he asks, his voice cracked and rugged from disuse. 

"Oh, if the binding solution has any blessings on it, it'll do serious damage to Alec-" Magnus cut himself off, turning to face Alec with an indecipherable on his face. 

"Alexander!" he shrieked, standing up rather quickly. He walked over to where Alec was firmly planted against the wall and clicks his tongue "How are you feeling? and why are you out of bed?" 

"Like shit," Alec replied bluntly, rubbing at his face wearily. Magnus sighed. 

"I wouldn't be surprised. The healers said you'd be off whilst the changes set in," 

Alec's face turned quizzical. "Changes?" 

Magnus pulled a face like he'd just put his foot in something unpleasant. 

"Alexander, you might want to sit down. We need to talk," 

* * *

 

"So I'm immortal." Alec said, dumbfounded.

It was more of a statement than a question, but Magnus answered anyway. "Yes. And you have fangs with venom in them, but the healers said that it's not as strong as it would be had you been a fully turned human. Your angel blood had something to do with it,"

Alec couldn't think of anything else to say except 

"Cool." 

The warlock's next sentence caught in his throat. "Cool?" he choked out, perplexed. 

"Yeah, cool. I mean, I know that I'll outlive jace and izzy and max, and I'm sure once the shock wears off I'll be much more torn up about it, but..." he trailed off. 

Magnus raised a brow. "But?" 

"But I get to spent eternity with you." 

Magnus sighed

"The healers said two weeks bed rest, you," He held a hand up to Alec's cheek, turning face this way and that. "I suggest you follow their advice- you look terrible,"

 _He looks tired,_  Alec thought, _has he slept at all_ _?_   

"Thanks, Mags. I feel so much better," he snarked. His fond smile dulled his sharp tone, though.

Magnus waved him off, clearly more interested in making sure he was okay than worrying about his feelings.

"You're pale- but that's to be expected- no aversion to sunlight, and no signs of nocturnal habits," Magnus muttered, more to himself than Alec, before sighing softly.  "You seem to be okay physically. But I'm on specific orders from a certain Lightwood to make sure you stay in bed, so go on, of you go. I'll bring you something light to eat. Did you drink the potion on the bedside table?" 

Alec shook his head once, the world spinning in front of his eyes. "I had no idea what it was," he admitted somewhat sheepishly. Magnus chuckled. 

"It's for pain relief. Headaches, possible dizziness, the standard vampire attack protocol, you know, _the usual_."

Alex huffed out a laugh at the sarcasm dripping off Magnus' words.

"Judging by how dependent you are on my wall, you may want to consider drinking it," he said softly, smiling warmly at the shadowhunter before him. "Go on- bed. Drink your medicine and get some rest. Isabelle will have my head otherwise," 

Alec smiled weakly, placing the softest of kisses against Magnus' lips. "Yes, Doctor," he chuckles. 

Inching slowly back into the dim light of Magnus' room and crawling back into the bed he'd woken up in so many times, Alec closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing, allowing himself to unwind. 

He tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. He couldn't rest- despite the exhaustion that weighed heavy on his shoulders. 

He sat up, groaning. His head hurt, his teeth hurt. He felt like he'd been punched in the face by a greater demon. 

Alec reached for the phial on the bedside table, reading the label on the neck of the bottle. 

_'Drink up! And go back to sleep!_

_-M'_

A used, Alec took a large swig from the bottle, shivering as the familiar tingle of magic spread through his bones. The sharp ache in his jaw became significantly dulled, but not unnoticeable.  _Whatever,_ he thought,  _I_ _'ve dealt with worse._

 

He was out almost instantly, the potion taking full effect.

 

The days after their heartfelt conversation seemed to slip by quickly. Magnus would head off to meet a client or help out at the institute, whilst Alec cleaned the apartment, which got him multiple choruses of 'You should be resting!' and 'Isabelle will kill me if she finds out you've been cleaning my apartment whilst you should be on bed rest so go on, off with you,' from his warlock. 

The end of the two-week bed rest ended, and soon Alec was needed back at the institute. Apparently, his mother was dropping by on a surprise visit and he needed to be there, lest she found out what happened with the vampire. The clave would have a field day if they found out- there'd be downworlder curfews put in place within minutes, and Alec wasn't about to let that happen. 

Minutes after Alec got a message from Isabelle, Magnus portaled them both into the centre of the institute, a forced smile on his face. He wouldn't exactly class himself as Maryse Lightwood's number one fan. 

Everything was going well. Maryse had greeted them both with something a little tighter than a grimace but had held her tongue, just as Magnus had. She was even civil with Izzy. 

Alec had felt off the second he had entered in the institute. He had put it down to being away from the place for two weeks- he was probably just used to being with Magnus on the daily- he'd get back into the feel of things quickly. He must have looked a little peaky because Magnus kept on shooting him concerned looks, squeezing his hand every now and then to ground him. 

It wasn't himself Alec was worried about though. He felt fine enough, it was Magnus he was concerned for. The bags under his eyes were darker than ever- they had gotten worse during the second week of Alec's bed rest. How much sleep had he been getting? 

"Alec?" Jace's voice drew him out of his own head. 

Alec jolted. "Sorry, I was just..." he sighed to himself. "Can you repeat that please?" 

Jace rolled his eyes, flicking back to an image on the Institute computers. "There was an Elapid demon attack last night- mundies have put it down to a refrigerator battery being damaged, but these burn marks are too deadly to be anything else. Alec, Izzy and Clary can go and check it out- I'll see what I can pull up here. Everything sound good? Great, hop to it," 

Alec, going to turn and head towards the elevator, felt the earth shift beneath him, and he staggered. Magnus caught him quickly, wrapping an arm around his waist to steady him. 

"Alec? What's wrong?" Jace asked, panicked. He could feel the intense burning in his parabatai rune. He gritted his teeth, sucking in a sharp breath. 

Alec threw up, clutching at his stomach. He hadn't eaten in days, the thought of food too nauseating to bear. What came out of his mouth was a bruised, sickening red, the colour of rotten blood. 

Maryse stepped forward just as Alec collapsed against Magnus, pale and clammy and too weak to stand on his own. 

Izzy all but jolted into action. "Mom," she started, "There's something we need to talk about-" 

"Yes, there is," She said coldly, "Like what that _Downworlder_ is doing with my unconscious son," She spat the word 'Downworlder' with so much Malice, Magnus wouldn't be surprised to find shrapnel embedded in his skin. 

"He's still conscious, Maryse, but not for long, so we need to get him sorted out. Now." 

Jace cut in. "We will tell you everything once we get Alec sorted out- he's- he's not well, Maryse," 

At Jace's expression, she went soft, waving them out of the institute with a tired hand. 

* * *

 

People screaming his name. 

Cries of distress. 

He couldn't reach them. He could never reach them. 

He was choking on the darkness around him. 

_"Alec..."_

Warmth. 

Memories of Sunday mornings and lazy kisses. 

Light filtered through his eyelids. They flickered open. 

 

The bright light around him made him wince, groaning at the burning in his eyes. 

"Magnus?" 

Alec's voice sounded like velvety chocolate after the crushing silence of his unconscious body. Magnus exhaled heavily, allowing his head to drop against the mattress of his own bed. He'd managed to portal back to his apartment and gave Alec a tonic to stop his sickness. 

"Hey," he whispered, voice soft. "How are you feeling?" 

He chuckled. "Like shit," 

The crack in Alec's voice was what caught Magnus' attention. He sat up quickly, reaching up to feel Alex's forehead with the back of his hand. The furrow in his brow lessened when he felt no fever. 

"You did throw up a lot. You're probably dehydrated, I'll go get you a glass of water," 

Magnus was stood up and leaving for the kitchen before Alec could protest. He returned a split second afterwards, eyes wide and jaw slack. 

"What is it?" 

Magnus leant against the bedroom door, somewhat shaken. "Your mother's in the living room,"

* * *

 

"Magnus, I was wondering where you'd stolen off to with my son," Maryse growled, standing up from her seat on the sofa. She looked livid, dark eyes burning holes into Magnus' own. 

Alec shot Magnus a look of 'how did she even get in here?', sighing heavily when Magnus shot one back of equal confusion. 

"Mom, what are you doing here?" 

She looked almost offended. "I'm checking up on my son who was portaled out of the institute after throwing up blood. Care to explain that?" 

Alec sighed, running a hand through his hair in a nervous habit he'd picked up from Magnus.

"Mom, Im not sure how to say this gently, so... I was attacked by a vampire two weeks ago. I haven't turned, but I have downworlder blood in my veins now."

Maryse didn't say anything, staring directly at Alec in a horrified disbelief.

"They- they were going for someone helping us on the mission," Alec glanced to Magnus for a split second, who shot him a sympathetic look.

Maryse caught the look the two had shared. "You were protecting him, weren't you?" she asked, calm and cold as ice. It was clear she was biting back a frosty rage. "You were attacked defending this... this _downworlder_."

"Mom, no, I mean--yes, I was defending him, but-" 

She cut him off. "You sacrificed your perfect nephilim blood... for _him_? For some _temporary_ _downworlder_ that's just going to outlive you and find another thing to _screw_ in your absence!?" 

Magnus stepped in. "Maryse, if I may-" 

"You may not." she snapped, silencing him with a withering glare. "How  _dare_ you-" 

"How dare he what, mother? He didn't ask me to defend him. He didn't ask me to jump in his place. All Magnus has done is take care of me when I was going through the change to immortality. He's made sure I slept and ate and showered, and he's helped me so much I don't know how to repay him. So you can take the blame and place it on me, not the man I love, you hear me? Now get out. We can talk when I am next at the institute. You're not welcome here anymore."

And, with no word of protest, 

she did. 

Exhaling heavily, Alec turned to Magnus, fingertips brushing the warlocks forearm with the movement. 

"Magnus, are you okay?" 

He snapped his attention to Alec, confused. "You love me?" 

Alec, taken aback by the question, quickly ran through what he had shouted at his mother, a hint of a blush coming to his cheeks when he realised what Magnus was talking about. "Yeah, I do. And I'm not- I'm not expecting you to say it back if you don't want to or if you're not ready but I- I just- needed to-" 

He stopped talking when he noticed the tears in Magnus' eyes. "Magnus, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

Magnus shook his head. "Nobody has ever told me they loved me before," he explained quietly. "Nobody who meant it."

Alec's heart almost shattered there and then. 

"Magnus..." Alec started, locking eyes with the warlock, "I mean it. I love the way you help people, and then pretend that it was bothersome to do so. I love how you show care in subtle ways. I love how you always seem to know what to say, and how you can read people. I love that you can turn even the coldest hearts to something warm. And I love how kind you are- to everyone. But more than any of that, I love _you,_ Magnus. And I'll happily tell you every hour of every day if you need me to. Hell, I'll scream it from the rooftops of Idris. I love you, Magnus Bane," 

Tears streamed down Magnus' cheeks now, hastily wiped away by the sleeve of Magnus' dark red button-up. He raised a hand up to skim Alec's cheek, before pulling him down and pressing their lips together. The kiss was soft, tender even, and said everything the two couldn't articulate out loud. It was salty and sweet, a perfect ratio, and the pair couldn't help but to melt into one another. One hand tangled in Alec's hair, the other settling at the nape of his neck, Magnus was rubbing circles where his thumb rested, igniting the baby hairs on the back of Alec's neck 

He pulled away, just far enough to speak. 

"I love you too, Alexander," he whispered, smiling up at the Shadowhunter with the warmest of gazes. 

Alec smiled back, placing another kiss on Magnus- a chaste brush of lips if anything at all. "Now what was it you said earlier about keeping me in sinful environments?" he asked, taking Magnus' hand and stepping towards his bedroom. "If you're not too tired from the past few days, we could go and do something that my mother certainly wouldn't approve of us doing," 

Magnus smirked at Alec's proposition, stepping closer to the shadowhunter. "Certainly, Mr Lightwood. After you," 

Alec, with his fingers interlaced with Magnus', led the way to the bedroom, walking backwards so that he could run his gaze up and down Magnus' body as they went. 

"Now now, Alexander, I know I'm positively delectable, but try an enforce a little bit of restraint," Magnus teased, giving Alec a half-lidded stare. 

The two passed the threshold of Magnus' (shared more often than not) room, the warlock kicking the door closed behind him. Alec pinned him against the door, hands finding his hips and lips finding his neck. Magnus let out a low hum of appreciation at the attention, and the pointed tips of Alec's fangs grazed Magnus' jugular, sending a shiver down his spine and pulling a soft moan from his lips. 

"Alexander," he breathed, slender fingers tangling in Alec's chocolate locks.

Alec's hands slid over Magnus' hips and to his thighs, hoisting him up. Magnus wrapped his legs around Alec's waist, arms snaking around his neck and pulling him closer. Alec placed Magnus down on the bed with a gentleness that Magnus had only ever felt once before, bending down to recapture the warlock's lips. He tugged at the hem of Magnus' shirt in a silent ask of permission, to which Magnus started to unbutton his shirt, allowing Alec to take over and pull the material back over his shoulders. He tossed the material behind him, landing in a heap on the floor. Alec's own shirt followed suit, and he only just managed to kick off his boots before Magnus tugged him down on top of him, smirking devilishly. 

"Getting impatient, Mr Bane?" Alec teased, raising a brow at the Warlock, whose hands were already roaming over the hard plane of Alec's stomach. 

Magnus chuckled softly, leaning up to whisper in Alec's ear. "Only for you, Mr Lightwood," 

* * *

 

Magnus laid with his head on Alec's chest, the warm afterglow of the previous activity washing over him. They were both breathing heavily, hearts beating hard and fast, hand in hand with their fingers intertwined. 

Magnus took in a breath. "I'm certain Maryse wouldn't approve of _that_ ," he gasped out, chuckling to himself. Alec huffed a laugh out through his nose, smiling warmly at the warlock beside him. 

"Definitely not. But at least we can safely say that this place won't become hallowed ground any time soon," 

Grinning, Magnus shifted onto his front, resting his chin on Alec's chest and meeting his gaze. "You can be as sinful as you like, Alexander," he purred, feeling the glamour fall from his eyes. He flinched away, sitting up an covering his face with his hands. 

"Magnus?" Alec asked quietly, reaching out a hand. "Magnus, what's wrong?" 

Magnus waved him off, trying desperately to re-apply the glamour to his eyes. To no avail. His magic got like that sometimes- uncontrollable, finicky, and a general pain in his ass. He couldn't get the glamour back and instead had to dash to the bathroom to hide his warlock mark from Alec. Yes, he loved the Shadowhunter, but he'd seen people that claimed to love him turn tail and run at the sight of his eyes. He wasn't going to risk that with Alec- not after that morning's proclamations of love.

Locking the bathroom door behind him, Magnus rushed to where a mirror hung over his sink. Cat eyes stared back at him, golden and very much there. He couldn't reapply the glamour, no matter how frequently he tried. Exhaustion was a big factor- he was still so so tired from the past two weeks of what may as well have been no sleep- but he could hardly just waltz back into his room and go to sleep, given the exit he just made, could he? 

His train of panicked thoughts was cut short at the soft knock on the bathroom door. "Magnus? Are you alright?" 

Magnus let out an abated breath. "I'm fine, Alexander. Just a magical... malfunction, if you will. I'll be out in a minute," he said, voice wavering just enough for Magnus to know he hadn't convinced Alec in the slightest. There was a pause before Alec spoke- like he was mulling over what he was about to say- overthinking, as he sometimes did. 

"Can I come in? Maybe I could help... somehow," 

Sighing, Magnus snapped his fingers and unlocked the door, gaze cast down to the floor as Alec stepped into the rather spacious bathroom. He padded over to where Magnus was leaning against the sink, gripping the edge of it so tightly in his hands that his knuckles were pale. 

"Mags," he said softly, placing a hand on Magnus' cheek and turning him to face Alec head on. "Look at me. Tell me what's going on," 

Magnus blinked, eyes still downcast. "Alexander..." he started, running a hand through his hair in the nervous way Alec did. He must have picked that up from the lengthy amount of time they've spent together. He took in a breath. "You know how every Warlock has a mark? A brand that tells everybody that they're unearthly, that they have demon blood in their veins?" 

Alec nodded. 

"Well, most warlocks have a mark that's easily concealed without a glamour. Like a large birthmark on their back, or a streak in their hair that they can cover with dye. Others don't have that sort of luck- including me. I use a glamour when I'm in someone elses company- which, more often than not nowadays, is pretty constant. Not that I mind, of course. 

A warlock's magic can become... difficult to control, shall we say, if they're presented with physical or mental duress. Mental illness, extreme wounds, exhaustion, and so on and so forth. Which means that they can't keep up the glamour they use on their mark. My magic is doing the same," 

Alec brushed a lock of inky hair out of Magnus' face, trying to meet his gaze. No such luck. "Magnus," he started, voice soft, "Whatever happens, whatever you show me, you need to know that I'm not going to run. I have fangs and I don't show up in mirrors- I think I can handle your warlock mark."

The warlock gave a shaky nod.

A pregnant pause followed Alec's words before he thought to speak again. "That being said, if you don't want to show me, you don't have to. Whatever you're comfortable with, okay?" 

Weakly, Magnus let out a heavy sigh. "I want to show you. But you see, Alexander, so many people have gotten close to me, only to turn and run, calling me a monster when they saw what was behind the glamour." 

"I love you, Magnus. Nothing's going to change that," 

Mustering up the courage to lift his gaze, Magnus locked eyes with the Shadowhunter before him, shame and embarrassment practically written all over his face in thick, black marker. Alec's eyes scanned his own, a small smile forming on his lips. 

"They're beautiful," he says quietly, placing a kiss on Magnus' forehead. "You're beautiful, Magnus," 

The warlock let out a breath he had been holding for what felt like centuries, relief flooding his uneasy mind. He smiled weakly at the man before him, placing a hand on his cheek and pulling him down so that their foreheads rested against one another. "Thank you," he whispered, capturing Alec's lips in a loving kiss. Alec kissed back, hands resting on Magnus' waist. 

When the two pulled away, Alec held Magnus at arm's length, eyes studying his face. "I think... I think you've spent so long behind a glamour that you're not sure how to live without it. And I get that. I hid behind the image of 'the perfect Lightwood son' for so long that I didn't know how to react when someone even _mentioned_ the idea that maybe I was in charge of my own life. You didn't want anyone to see the you that so many other people have turned away from. But I see you, Magnus. I see you for the wonderful man that you are. You're a warlock, but that's only one small part. Your magic isn't all that makes you magical. It's your smile and your laugh and the way you always seem to look better in my clothes than I do. It's the way you care for Raphael and look after everybody and so much more. I see you, Magnus Bane. I see you," 

Magnus smiled up at Alec, pulling him in and kissing him just as softly as before. "I see you too, Alexander Lightwood,"

 

_fin._

* * *

 

AN/ Oof, that was a long one. This is possibly the longest one-shots I've ever written in my entire time as a writer. I like it though- tell me what you think! Kudos and Constructive comments are always appreciated!! 

ALSO: before anyone yells at me for saying that Alec has blue eyes in the books, I would like to bring to your attention these stunning shots of Matthew Daddario's eyes, which you can view [here](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c8/74/54/c87454769531e4731a633c1fd9663c99.jpg)

Thank you for reading, and I'll see you for the next instalment of Skylar Has Commitment Issues So Writes One-Shots Instead Of Working On Their Fics


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